Hardships
by BookJunkie
Summary: Nikki got to the door and tore it open. “WHAT!” She screamed at the person on the other side. That was when she noticed that it was Jen, and she was… crying…
1. Chapter 1

This story takes place a little bit after Nikki and Jonesy's break up and Nikki hasn't dated anyone yet. It could take place anytime after the break up, but this is how I've thought of it as I've written it.

Chapter 1

Nikki was having such a nice dream. In it she was standing next to him. Heturned to her and leaned down slightly. She felt what was coming and closed her eyes, tilting her head upwards and pursing her lips. He –

_Ding-dong! _

Nikki groaned and opened her eyes. She glanced at her clock and groaned once more.

_Ding-dong!_

Nikki rolled her eyes and got out of bed. Her sheets were left in a huge ball at her feet and she nearly tripped over them, cursing as she walked through her bedroom door.

_Ding-dong!_

Coming to the top of the stairs, Nikki glared at the door. Whoever was on the other side seemed to be in a hurry. You'd think they would come back at… well anytime other than 2am!

_Ding-dong!_

Where were Nikki's parents anyways? Surely they heard the doorbell too! She smacked her head when she realized they'd gone to a wedding in Ottawa for the weekend.

_Ding-do –_

Nikki got to the door and tore it open. "WHAT!" She screamed at the person on the other side. That was when she noticed that it was Jen, and she was… crying…

Jen sniffed and flung herself on Nikki, hugging the other girl tightly. "Jonesy's…" she sobbed before practically yelling, "dead!" She continued to sob violently.

Nikki was completely shocked. Her mouth was open in an o shape and her eyes were wide. It took her a few seconds before her friend's words sunk in and she began to cry with her.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Ravenrockstheworld:** Well, here it is Ray (lol), let's see if you can remember this chapter._

_**Black honey: **It'll just keep getting sadder; I warn you. -gives tissue-_

_**Cassie: **Don't worry; I won't stop posting the story. I actually already have it finished… _

_**Desiree: **Thanks a lot for your review!_

_**Eternity's Shadow: **JXN forever! P.S. we should try combining their names instead of saying 'JXN' all the time… It could be Jikki or Nonesy! On second thought… JXN is good for now… _

Chapter 2

Jen decided on a gathering of the gang that afternoon to explain to the rest of them what had happened (she couldn't bare to tell it 4 more times). Nikki didn't want to come, she just wanted to stay in her room and weep some more. She knew the story, why should she go to hear it again? Jen convinced her that they needed to support each other. It would be better for all of them.

Nikki walked up to the Lemon slowly, her eyes on the floor as she tried to hold back her tears. She looked up as she heard Caitlin call out to her. She and Wyatt were already there. Nikki sat down in her chair and winced as she looked at Jonesy's empty one beside her.

"Something wrong Nik?" Wyatt asked her casually, looking down at a guitar magazine he held in his hand. When she didn't answer he looked up at her. "There is something wrong, isn't there? Does this have to do with why Jen - " he was interrupted by Jude, who wiped out on the table. Wyatt helped him up and asked if he was okay. Jude just grinned and started to ramble on about the sweet trick he'd just pulled.

Nikki ignored them and tried to concentrate on keeping her mind off Jonesy. It was hard, especially since she was used to thinking about him a lot in the past few weeks… okay, months. "What's taking Jen so long to get here?" she mumbled to herself.

Thinking the question was directed at her; Caitlin answered, "She's at work, she'll be here in a few." Caitlin looked at Nikki and frowned. "Hey, where's Jonesy? I haven't seen him once all day."

"Me neither," Wyatt answered. He looked to Jude, who shook his head. All eyes were on Nikki.

Nikki gulped and looked away. Before any of them could ask, Jen showed up. Nikki breathed a sigh of relief, but fear caught in her throat when she came to realize that it was time for the rest of them to hear what happened. How would they react?

"There you are, how was work?" Caitlin asked Jen.

"Depressing," she answered. Before anyone could ask why, she sighed and said, "Guys, there's something I have to tell you…" Jen blinked a few times, but no one seemed to notice other than Nikki.

"Shouldn't we wait for Jonesy first?" Jude asked. "You said you wanted to talk to all of us, on the phone…"

"It's about Jonesy…" Jen began, her voice catching in her throat. Everyone was paying full attention now. "He's…" she looked down, still blinking back tears.

"Is he hurt?" Caitlin asked, worried.

"He's dead," Nikki told them, calmly. She was completely numb now. No tears fell from her eyes. She had played this scene in her head so many times that when it began how she'd thought it would something inside of her broke. She could swear it was her heart.

Everyone was in shock, including Jen who had expected to be the one to tell them. Caitlin had turned green and looked like she might faint, Jude just stared into space with tears in his eyes and Wyatt seemed to be clutching to his magazine for dear life.

It was Wyatt who spoke first, as he managed to choke out, "How?"

Jen sat down in her regular seat. "We got the call really early this morning, well, my mom did. It was Jonesy's dad. He… he said…" she paused. A few tears escaped her eyes before she continued, "he said that Jonesy had gone to drive one of his friends home from a party, who had called and was drunk, at 10pm, but he'd been gone for over three hours. He didn't know where he was, and he needed help finding him. My mom, Courtney and I all went over to his house. We'd been discussing what to do when the phone rang," she stopped. Her eyes met Nikki's. "It was the police. They… there'd been a car crash a few blocks from Nikki's house. One of the drivers had been drunk and had actually come from the same party Jonesy's friend had been at. He had hit Jonesy's car, right in the driver's seat. _Jonesy died an agonizing death!_" Jen broke down and cried then. Her sobs could be heard throughout the mall and people stared.

Nikki finished for her, bitterness clear in her voice, "The drunk driver got away with only a few injuries. Jonesy was alone in the car; he had already dropped his friend off and was coming home when it happened. Jen walked over to my house a little while after visiting the crash site and told me everything."

Wyatt asked softly, "Why were you at the crash site, Jen?"

Jen slowly stopped sobbing long enough to say, "They needed someone to identify him. My mom was going to go, but I convinced her to stay and comfort Jonesy's dad." She began to sob again immediately after.

Everyone was silent for a while. The only thing that could be heard was both Jen and Caitlin's (who'd joined in not long after she'd heard the story) sobs. One of the most unexpected persons **_(I hate using 'persons', but in this case I kind of have to)_** interrupted them.

"What's going on here?" Ron the rent-a-cop demanded, a little more gently than usual.

"Jonesy's dead," Nikki stated, still calmly. The others looked at her strangely. They didn't understand, of course; they couldn't. She looked away.

Ron looked down at the floor. "He was a good kid." They couldn't help but smile weakly at that. Ron quickly corrected himself, "He was very cheerful, nice and funny too. Very… optimistic." He sighed sadly before nodding in farewell, leaving them in peace.


	3. Chapter 3

**_Amylovestakuya:_ **_-hands tissue- this chapter's sad too, I'm afraid._

_**Ravenrockstheworld: **Stories are always better the second time you read them, don't you think, Ray?_

_**Colleen: **A little much to take in all at once? This chapter calmer and easier to understand._

_**AnonymousWriter25: **Hope you like this chapter too!_

_**Black honey: **Now I feel bad for almost making you cry, although that is the point of a sad story…_

_**Eternity's Shadow: **Thank you very much! _

_**Ortoyoga: **A happy ending does seem impossible, doesn't it?_

Chapter 3

Nikki's mom was helping her get ready for the funeral, since Nikki didn't really have the spirit to do it herself. She watched as her mom pulled out a black blouse and black jeans before stopping her. "Would you mind if I wore your black skirt instead mom? Jeans seem a little…"

"Inappropriate?" her mom finished for her and watched Nikki nod. "Sure you can wear it dear, I'll be right back." She left the room to go fetch the skirt.

As she heard her mom walk down the hallway Nikki fell back on her bed and stared at the white ceiling. She still felt the numbness she had two days ago. She began to think when her mom came back and gave her the skirt.

"Are you ready for this?" she asked softly, referring to the funeral.

Nikki sighed. The numbing sensation she felt was gone and all the pain flowed back to her. She suddenly shouted at her mom, "No! I'm not ready for any of this shit! He shouldn't have died! I should have told him how I felt! Now it's too late! I…" She collapsed into her mom's arms, weeping terribly. Her mom soothed her and they stayed like that for about a half an hour before Nikki finally calmed down enough to get dressed and ready for the funeral.

- - -

It was a dark day, quite suitable for the occasion. Nikki got out of her parents' car and looked around her. They were at the local cemetery and not too far off she could see the small gathering of people for Jonesy's funeral. She spotted Jen coming towards her. She walked up to her and they hugged. They went together towards the crowd in silence.

The ceremony began and everyone was in tears. Nikki silently thanked god that it wasn't an open casket. She wouldn't have been able to put up with seeing him cold and lifeless… She shook the thought from her mind.

Jonesy's dad stood up to say a few words. He was a wreck. He had dressed for the occasion, of course, but he couldn't hide the dark circles under his eyes nor his fallen expression. Everyone was silent except Ronnie; Jonesy's little brother, who was nearly howling he was crying so much. Mr. Garcia caught his other son; Diego, 's eye and he took Ronnie's hand and led him away for a bit to let him calm down. Mr. Garcia talked for a while about Jonesy before he had to stop when he couldn't control his voice from cracking.

Nikki felt numb as the ceremony went on, so numb that she couldn't even remember what happened during it. She realized what was happening as they were lowering the casket into the hole of the grave. Most people began to leave then, some going over to Jonesy's family to give their condolences while others stood around mingling a little bit. Nikki stayed in her seat and watched as some men shoveled dirt into the hole.

- - -

Nearly everyone had left, but Nikki was still in her seat. She hadn't gotten up once, even when the gang came over to talk to her. Her parents were waiting for her at a respectful distance. They would wait as long as it took for her to be ready and she knew they would. That fact both comforted her and threw her in denial. She'd never be ready, never! She slowly got up and walked towards Jonesy's grave. She looked upon the tombstone and read the words inscribed on it silently to herself.

Jonesy Garcia 

_1989 – 2005_

_Son, brother and friend._

She felt like spiting on the last line. It barely said anything about him! It said nothing about his humour or his kindness! It said nothing about how protective he was of his friends! It said nothing about the loving look he had in his eyes whenever he looked at her and how much pain they showed when they broke up… Nikki fell to her knees in front of his tombstone and let out a small moan before crying into her hands.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Flame31: **Thanks a lot, it'd be really bad if my story weren't believable because that would take away from it._

_**Black honey: **That wasn't how it ends; there's still a couple chapters left, don't worry!_

_**Amylovestakuya: **It's awesome that you sent me a message when you couldn't review my story! I'm glad you enjoyed the tissue, lol. This isn't the end, there's still more to come._

_**Ortoyoga: **Thanks a lot for your review! It made me smile: )_

_**Eternity's Shadow: **Thanks! I hope you like this chapter too!_

_**Ravenrockstheworld: **Nikki's right about everything! Hope you like this chapter, everything from here on you've never read before!_

_**This chapter has a lot of flashbacks in it, so whenever you see parts in **italics_ _**they're flashbacks; journal entries will also be in **italics**, but they'll start with: **"Dear Diary…"**. This is only for this chapter, so if you see things in **italics** in any other chapter they're in **italics** to express the idea more strongly. Now that we're done with that nonsense, let's continue with the story.**_

Chapter 4

"Nikki? You still there?" Jen asked the other girl on the phone, who'd been awfully quiet for a little while.

"Huh? Oh, ya, I'm still here," Nikki replied. She sat down on her bed concentrating on not spacing out again.

"Jonesy's dad is really having trouble sorting through some of Jonesy's stuff in his room. It's been a whole month since the funeral and my mom says he hasn't gone near his room once. Someone has to do something with it!" she paused before saying softly, "He told me I should invite the gang over to go in there and take any reminders of him. Also, to maybe clean up a bit; Jonesy was kind of a slob." She laughed weakly. "I think you should come over today, Nik."

Nikki hesitated a long moment, thinking it through. She felt like saying no, but something inside her (curiosity?) wanted her to go. "Okay, I'll come," she said in a defeated tone.

Jen sniffed, holding back a tear. "Great, come over when you're ready, okay?"

"Okay, bye." Nikki hung up the phone and sat on her bed. Ready? She could never be ready! She sighed over the same thing she'd thought of a month ago. 'I'd might as well get it over with' she decided, reluctantly.

- - -

Nikki paused outside the Garcia front door. She brought her hand up to the doorbell, but let it fall to her side again. She took a deep breath and quickly jabbed the small device and listened to the musical beat that followed. Jen and Caitlin answered the door. "Hey Nik. The boys are already inside. We're about half way done his closet and we cleaned up the floor a bit," Jen updated her as she let her in.

Jen paused in the hallway and put something in Nikki's hand. Nikki looked down to see Jonesy's necklace resting in her fingers. She clutched it tightly. "I found it in on the floor of his room. It probably fell off; he told me once that that happened a lot. I think you should have it. He… He would have wanted you to," Jen explained softly, while sniffing back a tear. Nikki nodded, placing it in her pocket, and they all headed for the bedroom.

The room had changed a lot since she'd last seen it. There were no longer clothes everywhere and she could actually make it past the doorway without stepping on something or over it (not to mention tripping on it). There were things from his closet piled on his bed and desk. Jude and Wyatt were at the desk polishing Jonesy's many sports trophies. As she walked in the room Jude put down the one in his hand and said, "there," before the two boys went back to sorting through the closet.

Nikki ran her hands over the top of the trophies. She had memories of each sport he played. Bowling. _Jonesy needed a spare to win the gold for the league the gang had gone in one summer. He got a split on the first throw. Miraculously he hit both pins and won the game! He turned around and went over to the table, lifting her up in his arms and spinning her round and round and round._ Soccer. _She was watching him from the sidelines during practise. He looked up at her while he was kicking the ball and grinned. He was going to wave when he tripped over the ball and went flying. She was about to run over to him when he got up and brushed himself off. He ran up to her, saying, "Bet you can't do that!" _Baseball. _Jonesy was one of two pitchers on his team. It was the other guy's turn to pitch during practise and Jonesy had just finished showing him a really fast pitch that was hard to control. Jonesy went up to bat and the other boy decided to use the new pitch. Apparently he needed more practise because he got Jonesy right in the eye. Jonesy walked to first base. After practise he immediately went up to Nikki to show her his shiner. _

She looked at the many hockey trophies and could still feel her butt being frozen on the stands while she watched him play. He didn't just have trophies; he also had a lot of medals and a few ribbons. She picked up one of the ribbons. Floor Hockey. _They were 14 then. Jonesy was on the school floor hockey team and they were at the gym watching him and his team play for their gym class. Jonesy's team was really whipping ass! The other team didn't look very happy as Jonesy scored yet another goal. A time out was called. After the time out this huge guy got the ball and started for the net. He shot and missed and Jonesy went to get the ball from behind the net. The huge guy rushed over and pushed Jonesy into the post. The whistle blew and the huge guy was kicked out. Jonesy was still on the floor. Nikki got up and started pushing past people. She was about to go on the floor when a teacher stopped her. "Wait here Ms. Wong and let them take care of him," she clucked. Nikki thought quickly and said, "He's my boyfriend." _She smiled at the memory. The teacher ended up letting her and Jonesy turned out just to have a bump on his head, but she had been genuinely worried, so worried that she'd lied about her and Jonesy's relationship. That was something she had never admitted doing.

Nikki gulped down a lump in her throat that was beginning to form. She turned to her friends who were waiting patiently. She nodded and Jen told her she could sort through his desk drawers if she wanted to. She went over to the desk and started with the first. It was jammed full with stuff, so she began to take things out. She could swear she saw something that looked like a cockroach in there at some point!

She had everything that was in the drawer out on top of the desk where there was room and she began to gather up all the small things (pencils, erasers, etc) and put them in a pencil case she'd found. That was when noticed it. It was a small notebook with "Journal" written on the front. Jonesy kept a journal? Sure enough, when she opened it she found that he'd written a lot in it. Curiosity got the better of her and she started by reading the first page.

_"Dear Diary, Sept. 31st, 2000_

_I think keeping a diary is really stupid…I'm only writing in it because my mom's making me. 'Pre-teens and teens have a lot of angst that they have to let out, Jonesy, and the best way is to write it down." Angst? What angst? I'm 11 years old and she's treating me like a girl! She's probably just upset that she had three sons, but wanted a daughter. This is so not fair. I'll only write in this for a couple weeks, then she'll forget about it and I can throw this thing out. I'm not sure if I'll be able to make it though. Wish me luck!"_

Nikki couldn't help but smile at that. He'd written in this a lot more times than he would for a couple weeks. She flipped through the pages a bit until she got to the last entry.

_"Dear Diary, Jan 5th, 2006_

_Not too long ago Nikki and I broke up. I can't take this! I want her, but I can't have her. I see her everyday, but I can't really be with her. I love her, but she doesn't love me back. She never will. At least I can admit that. I never got the chance to tell her and I probably never will. Maybe if I go for enough girls I'll find one I like, or that will at least distract me from realizing that I'll never like any girl like I do, Nikki. If I didn't have to see her everyday maybe I wouldn't feel like my heart is being ripped out every time she isn't looking at me or stops looking at me or isn't even there to look at me. If I didn't have to hear her voice everyday maybe I wouldn't feel like part of me is missing whenever I don't hear it. I once phoned her cell phone, knowing she wouldn't pick up, just so that I could hear her on her answering machine. If I didn't have to sleep at night maybe I wouldn't dream of her, only to wake up and realize it wasn't real. I'd rather die than live with out her, it'd be much better than going through this 24/7. I miss her when she's not around and hate her when she is for not being able to hold her or kiss her. I want her. I need her. I can't have her."_

Nikki was shocked. The entry was written only a week before the crash. She let the book fall from her hands and stood there with her jaw dropped. The others looked at her and asked if she was all right, but she couldn't hear them, not really. She droppedto her knees and cried.

I know the last Journal Entry was kind of lame, but it's Jonesy who wrote it, remember. He's allowed to be lame sometimes: ) 


	5. Chapter 5

I feel so bad! I forgot to post this last night! At least it's only a day late though. : ) 

_**Ravenrockstheworld: **Lol, I would have added basketball, but… Aw man! I should have added basketball! I never thought of it! Lol._

_**-x-Anonymous Writer-x-: **It's almost over, only one chapter left after this one._

_**Eternity's Shadow: **Thanks, I'm glad you liked it: ) I feel bad for almost making you cry though, lol, I guess that's the point of a sad story though._

Chapter 5

_Ding-dong!_

Nikki opened her eyes slowly as the familiar sound made it's way to her ears. A sense of déjà vu washed over her and she looked to the alarm clock beside her bed. Thankfully it wasn't 2 am, like it was last time; it was only 10:30 pm. She would have died if she had to relive all of this over again!

_Ding-dong!_

Getting out of bed, Nikki then carefully unraveled her sheets from around her ankles so as not to trip on them.

_Ding-dong!_

Nikki paused at the top of the stairs and looked at the door. The last time she'd answered it in the middle of the night she had gotten the most horrible news of her life. What would happen this time?

_Ding-dong!_

Why didn't Nikki's parents come this time? They were still home, weren't they? She couldn't remember; everything was a little fuzzy. She put her hand on the doorknob and took a deep breath.

_Ding-do –_

Her eyes were closed as she opened the door. She didn't want to look. Who knows whom she'd see then!

"Nikki?"

Her eyes flew open at the sound his voice. She looked up and met eye to eye with…

"Jonesy?" she gasped and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, nearly suffocating him. She cried softly into his chest and they stayed like that for a bit.

Nikki pulled back and looked at Jonesy, making sure this was really real. Jonesy had a goofy grin on his face and his eyes bore deeply into hers, making her melt. He looked down at her and blushed slightly. "Did I wake you up, Nik?"

Nikki looked down at herself and blushed too. She had on her pyjamas, but they consisted of a tank top and loose pants, all of which were a little revealing. "Yeah, but that's okay," she replied, sheepishly.

"What were you doing in bed at ten on a Friday, anyways? You usually stay up later than that…" he trailed off.

Nikki thought a moment as things started coming back to her. "I had a headache and I went to bed at eight to sleep it off."

Worry was apparent in Jonesy's eyes as he asked her, "Does it still hurt?"

Nikki shook her head and smiled. "What are you doing here, Jonesy? Not that I'm complaining…"

Jonesy sighed. "My friend, you know him: Tyler, called and asked me to drive him home from a party. He was obviously drunk so I did. I was on my way home when my car broke down a few blocks from here. I was trying to fix it when I noticed how close to your house I was," he paused before saying, "Maybe I should go back and keep trying…"

Nikki, wide-eyed, asked, "What's the date today?"

Jonesy was obviously puzzled, but he told her, "January 13th. Why do you…"

Before he could say another word she pulled him inside. Friday, January 13th, 2006 was the day Jonesy died in her now apparent dream. "Why don't you call your dad and he can get someone to tow your car?"

Jonesy shrugged. "Sure." He went to the phone and dialled.

Nikki went up to Jonesy while he was waiting for his dad to answer and whispered in his ear, "Ask him if you can stay at my house tonight."

Jonesy of course did (he would do anything for that girl) and talked to his dad for a while. After he hung up he turned to her. "Are you sure your parents won't mind if I stay over here?"

Nikki shook her head. "They went to a wedding for the weekend." She led him to the living room where they watched TV until they fell asleep, Nikki leaning against Jonesy who had his arm around her.

Don't worry you guys; this isn't the end. There's still one more chapter left.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Here's the end. Thanks to all my reviewers.**_

_**Ravenrockstheworld: **Calm down. Breath. You didn't think I'd really kill him, did you? One clue would be that I didn't put anything about what happened during the month between the funeral and the fourth chapter, just like that month didn't exist because in dreams you sometimes skip over things like that. _

_**Itsmejess: **Thanks a lot for reviewing! Hope you like this chapter!_

Chapter 6

_Ri-i-ing!_

Nikki opened her eyes at the sound of her phone ringing and looked at Jonesy who was starting to wake up too.

_Ri-i-ing!_

Nikki got up and answered it. She turned to Jonesy. "It's your dad."

Jonesy took the phone from her and she could hear only a few words that he was saying as she daydreamed about him holding her.

Jonesy hung up and turned to Nikki, wide-eyed. "The guy who was supposed to tow my car to the mechanics phoned my dad. Just before he got there some guy from the same party Tyler was at slammed into my car. The guy's okay, don't worry. He hit my car right in the driver's seat. Imagine what would have happened if I'd been in there trying to start my car…" Jonesy trailed off.

A shiver ran down Nikki's spine. Everything that had happened had happened in her dream! There was a difference of course, a huge difference. Jonesy was alive. She went up to him and hugged him, starting to cry. "I don't have to imagine. I know," she managed to choke out.

Jonesy wrapped his arms around her and started to sooth her. "What do you mean you know?" he asked after a while.

Nikki had pretty much stopped crying at that point. She looked up at him and wiped a tear from her eye. "I… I'll tell you later."

He rubbed a hand up and down her back and whispered, "Okay," before leading her back to the couch. They sat down and he wrapped his arms around her. She leaned her head against his chest and listened to his heartbeat. Soon her eyes got heavy and she fell asleep. That night her dreams were filled with love and wishes for the future and when she woke up that morning she couldn't help but wonder if they would come true.


End file.
